I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
