he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
