You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
