i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
