toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Randomize
