I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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