Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
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the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
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I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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