if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
