Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
