Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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