I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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