it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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