He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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