You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
