There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
