He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
