1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
