12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
