Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
