I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
