Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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