I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
