im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
