I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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