I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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