and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
