doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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