Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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