Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
