Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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