are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
