she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
