he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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