i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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