I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
