yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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