you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
