2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
