Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
