I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
