So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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