Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
