Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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