Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
