Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize