Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just cropdusted the office
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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