"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
