You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
