If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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