i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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