My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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