i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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