Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
