Me. At least after what I've been through.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
