i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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