I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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