I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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