i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
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You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
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I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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