tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
