Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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